Goodbye, Xanga. It has been nearly ten years since I have started to record my life with you, but I am not going to pay Xanga Inc. for an extra year here. All posts here have been transferred to my new WordPress blog, A matter of finite hope.

http://thexangateam.xanga.com/773587240/relaunching-xanga-a-fundraiser/

If they can’t raise $60000 by 15 July, Xanga would be closed down. All users can make HTML archive before that date. 

一、有些[WYK]開頭的留言我完全沒有共鳴，甚至不知其所指為何。有五六十人按讚，卻沒一個是我的臉書朋友。可能我真的老了。

二、其實我懷念WYK Newsgroup。

三、不敢妄說「一代不如一代」。每一代人，都有他們的故事。記得中一時參加了某學長計劃，聽見有師兄低聲說「華仁收生質素日趨下降」；到我這一代人差不多都大學畢業了，又有人批評師弟們諸般不是。

四、另，我中一的時候那學長計劃名為「Men for Others」，好像再之前叫「開心華仁仔」，不知道現在有沒有隨潮流改為「Men for and with Others」。其實「開心華仁仔」咪幾好。

五、「有損校譽」這頂帽子在香港用得太濫，我一向不太喜歡。每當反對聲音有理有節，讓他們難以回應的時候，不少學校的負責人就會拿「校譽」、「家醜不可外揚」作遁詞。可是，九龍華仁的師兄師弟們，有些陳年傳聞既帶有人身攻擊成份，亦未經證實，沒有必要跟友校朋友公開分享吧。真的要說，寫「聽講有人……」就好。不用給過多提示，讓外人也能辨認當事人身份。

六、有無有心人整返個WYK Secrets，只限WYK Network的臉書用家閱讀？我很有興趣知道華仁近年來的變化，了解現在的校園生活。不過，我想，師弟們應該比較有興趣與友校同學增進了解吧。 (:

also on Facebook

In the beginning was the Boston bombing.

And the hashtag #prayforBoston was with the bombing, and the hashtag was the bombing. Through it all statuses were made; without it no status was made that has been made.

And some mentioned the deaths in Afghanistan and Palestine, and decried how unequal the world is, for three dead received far more (online) mournings than hundreds.

And some would say people are entitled to feel differently about different things. It risks appearing hypocritical when you suggest people are not being compassionate enough.

And some may respond it is a kind of hypocrisy to argue for freedom of thought in face of gross injustice. It is just another attempt to occupy a moral high ground.

Ad infinitum.

And in the beginning was the Boston bombing.

====================================================

If you feel sorry for the Boston victims, say it. If you feel sorry for Afghan victims, or would like to bring them to people’s attention, say it directly. Feelings are by definition subjective. Attacking others’ feelings do not make yours more convincing or superior. And it is unwise to base attacks on speculations about motives behind others’ compassion. 

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.”
- Matthew 7:1-2

我不清楚，有沒有一種快樂，曾經纏綿悱惻，過後不會不捨；
有沒有一個方法，讓心想事成後，沒有任何代價；
有沒有一場喧嘩，曲終人散後，能讓寂寞昇華。
我不曉得，有沒有一種福氣從天而降，令身在福中不知福的人更幸福。
我不理解，幸福是否如公益廣告所言，並非必然，而必然要惜福，珍惜到患得患失。
我不肯定，是否離時代遠遠，沒有人間煙火，不知人間何世便可以毫無代價唱最幸福的歌。
我只知道，有些名為幸福家庭的雜誌，都在講家居設計，與家庭幸不幸福無關。
我只知道，若然幸福要付出代價，只要不至傾家蕩產，毋須一世愁眉苦臉經營出一陣眉開眼笑，只要捨得也就值得了。
我只知道，有一些人會得慢慢分享別人的幸福，有更多人只會急於分享別人幸福的心得，還以為那是唯一的。
我只知道，他人的蜂蜜有時是自己的砒霜。模擬他人的幸福，才折了自己的福。

　　最近，我終於知道，吃一道菜能吃出幸福感，並非電影歌詞虛構的傳說。那是朋友的爸爸為我煮好的一盒瑤柱柚皮及芒果布丁，我邊吃邊咀嚼出一個幸福家庭的滋味，也明白為甚麼我的朋友那麼愛吃芒果布丁。
　　第一次，我體驗到他人的幸福小菜會吃進自己的心裡，快樂得雙眼欲紅。雖然不曉得人家的模範家庭有沒有一本難唸的經，而我畢竟吃了一道免費的午餐，沒有任何代價，而分了這一杯羹，又分清了這種幸福，雖然也是我想要的，要不到可能是我不願付出那代價，也可能是各人都有不同的福份，不屬於我那一份，也能嚐過就好，別為別人的幸運與福氣而付出自覺不幸的代價。
　　我想要又能要的那一份，只要別想太多，安心做著想做的，也安然地失去一些想有的，最大損失不過是沒有同款的布丁做安樂茶飯的甜點。
　　事若求全何所樂，心中無數也是福。經常為幸福精明地格價，只落得情深不壽，慧極必傷。

 - 林夕 《毫無代價唱最幸福的歌》序

One of my favourite article from The Economist. I first read it in an airport near Nyköping, Sweden. Snow was falling slowly against the dark sky. It was deep in December. And I was waiting idly for a flight to Berlin the next morning.

‘with the passage of time, something does happen to long-term foreigners which makes them more like real exiles … The [homeland's] culture, the politics and their old friends all change, die, forget them. They come to feel that they are foreigners even when visiting “home”. ‘

Being foreign: The others from The Economist, 17 Dec 2009
http://www.economist.com/node/15108690

more information would be helpful.
cannot see any problem in charging deposit.
not sensible to raise in September events.

然而那確實是悲哀呢，那麼簡單的道理，話不想說到盡，有些事情必須要等他人自行明白。d說，很難讓人有同理心，沒有辦法。需要想像，需要故事，需要劇場。而我只想說乾燥和轉折周詳的句子，使用中性的詞彙，於是我不得不忍受悲傷。

斷章取義自鄧小樺《最後的倫理(之崩潰)》

是不是以後的每個十一月 都要在不幸與無可奈何之中渡過 在各種可能性和願望之間虛耗光陰 直到所有的可能性都變得不可能

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Xanga Entries
- 8.12.2006 – Wah Yan
- 6.2.2007 – Wah Yan at Night